More money, more problems?
If you read any study or report that cites the leading reasons as to why couples eventually divorce, money and finances are almost always near the top of the list. And the reasons behind monetary issues aren’t always necessarily a matter of not having enough of it, but in some cases having too much of it.
In fact, a new study from SunTrust Bank went as far as to cite money as the No. 1 cause of stress in relationships, with more than one-third of all surveyed couples stating it was their biggest source of turmoil. On this note, we thought it would be timely (it is wedding season, after all) to cite some of the key ways money may negatively impact relationships and what you can do to avoid them. Here’s a look:
Hiding Money
Relationships are all about trust, so just imagine how crushed your spouse would be if they were ever to find out that you were hiding money from them, or had a separate account for your own personal spending.
To be clear, we’re not so much talking about hidden Swiss bank accounts, but separate bank accounts that their partner has no knowledge of. Hiding money is more common than you might think, with the recent study revealing that as many as two out of every five couples are guilty of it. Per the study, about three quarters of those who hid or lied about money said that it negatively impacted their relationship.
The funny thing is that there’s an easy workaround to this issue. Simply have a conversation with your spouse where you can establish and agree to keep your own little “nest eggs.”
Hiding Debt
Hiding money is one thing, but hiding debt is much worse.
At least when you’re hiding money, it’s money that you have in your possession, and not money that you owe. What’s more is that high amounts of debt can really come back to bite you when you’re trying to get approved for a mortgage or car loan if it has taken a hit on your credit. If your spouse doesn’t know about your standing, this can make for an embarrassing moment.
Bottom line: Be upfront and honest about debt, and work on a credit repair plan if your FICO score is potentially limiting you from achieving your life goals.
Overspending and Underspending
Are you a saver or are you a spender? These traits can present a big challenge in relationships, particularly if your spouse’s spending behavior is opposite yours. This too can be managed, and it’s fairly easy to do it. All you need to do is sit down and hammer out a plan.
For instance, perhaps 10 percent of each paycheck will go to “fun spending,” while 20 percent will go to “savings.” It’s up to you and your spouse to figure it out, but know that getting upset with each other over spending habits without even addressing or having a conversation about them doesn’t do anyone any good.
Financial Abuse
Here’s a financial issue that’s probably more common than what many people let on – a battle for financial power. This is most common in households where there’s a significant earnings gap between spouses.
Naturally, the one who earns more often believes that they’re entitled to making the crux of the financial decisions for the household. Financial abuse can range from minor to severe, and from tactics that may include spending allowances to completely keeping spouses in the dark about where and how the money is spent. It’s one thing for a person to feel like they’re not pulling their weight as much as the other, but it’s a completely different thing when the person in charge of the finances completely snuffs out their spouse.
We encourage those who believe that they are in financially abusive situations to seek counseling, and perhaps even work with a financial planner to find a working solution for both parties.
Do you have money issues in your relationship? If so, there’s no time like the present to work through them and (likely) live a more fulfilling married life.
Regards,
Ethan Warrick
Editor
Wealth Authority
