My wife and I were at the local branch of our bank the other day. We were there to open up a checking account for a new business we are starting together.
As we were introduced to the gentleman that would be helping us, he conversationally asked what type of business we would be opening. My wife replied that it was a home based publishing business.
The man’s eyes lit up immediately and he replied, “Wow that’s great. I’ve always wanted to start my own business. I love working at the bank but I’ve always dreamed of one day owning my business.”
I get that kind of reaction a lot. Anytime I meet someone for the first time and tell them what I do. They are always amazed. Many people feel small business owners are people to be admired. Like they’ve taken a leap of faith others are too afraid to take.
My response to the banker was simple. “You should start your own business. It’s the best thing I ever did.”
His face became a bit sheepish and he said, “Well I don’t have any ideas. I had one once but my wife told me it wasn’t a good idea.”
I run into this kind of response a lot. Often those closest to us are the biggest naysayers and haters. The discouragement we get from our friends and family is often the main threat to our confidence. It’s unfortunate, but true.
A lot of times naysayers don’t even realize they are shooting you down. They think they are giving you points to think about or are asking for clarification. If you let naysayer’s comments and critiques get to you, enthusiasm for your great ideas will quickly fade.
That’s why it’s important to be prepared and know how to defend your dreams and aspirations against these inevitable attacks.
Naysayers often disguise themselves as pessimists. People who believe the glass is half empty. These people do not believe in you or your ideas! They will come up with a hundred negative comments and try to reason with you to not try. Often they will say things like:
“What do you know about running a business?” “You can’t start a new career at your age!” “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Don’t believe these Negative Nancy’s, as I like to call them. Their pessimism is born from their own inability to do great things. Stay positive, believe in your ideas and stick with your vision.
The way to deal with pessimists is to ask for their suggestions. More often than not they will have no idea how to improve upon your ideas. Keep the conversation light after they stutter or offer no further input and move onto another topic.
Another tactic you can try is to turn anything negative they say into a positive. Someone says to you, “I’ve heard most work-from-home businesses are scams” then turn the comment around on them with something like this: “There are scams in any industry. This is a sure-fire thing.”
These naysayers probably won’t even realize you are turning each of their negative phrases into positive ones. This tactic is good for those who don’t like confrontation as it doesn’t hurt either party’s feelings.
Haters are another kind of naysayer. These folks hate any and every idea you come up with simply because they didn’t come up with it first. They might have a hidden agenda or a personal grudge against you but either way you’ll never convince them your idea is a good one.
You can try to reason with these types and overcome their negative comments but most likely you won’t succeed. The more you try the more their comments will get to you and make you angry. Use these people to motivate you. Know that the only thing that will shut these people up is success.
Sometimes naysayers won’t even attack your idea, they’ll attack you directly. They might bring up past mistakes you’ve made or question your qualifications. You might have had this happen to you at the office once. Someone using this tactic might say to you, “Why should we change the way we do things. You’ve only been with the company a few months you don’t know how we do things around here yet.”
When someone personally attacks you, your natural reaction will be anger. Take a deep breath and remain calm. If you launch a counter attack, even one based on facts and a convincing argument, it might backfire on you. Those people you are trying to convince might end up sympathizing with your attacker.
Instead align yourself with other respected members of your audience. Before you present your idea in the next office meeting or neighborhood homeowners association gathering, discuss it with two or three others who will be in the audience during your presentation. If someone does attack your qualifications or knowledge you can overcome it by citing those people who are above reproach. This lends credibility to your idea and makes people believe there is already support for your idea.
I’ve also seen people’s ideas get tossed aside because of technical questions and confusion. A person presents their idea to the group and is immediately assailed by questions. The hater in this instance will be someone with specialized education, such as someone in IT, a lawyer, a team leader, basically anyone who can bring up the technical or operational aspect of your idea. These haters will try to convince the group that your idea can’t be implemented because there is some issue that prevents it from being possible. Your only recourse in this situation is to assure the group you have spoken with experts in that field who believe your idea is possible. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into a conversation about specifics on the technical end because the hater is more knowledgeable than you in this instance. They would most likely be able to strike down your credibility and thus the validity of your idea. Instead assure everyone experts previously agree your idea is plausible and move on to other questions.
Your best defense from naysayers, haters and those who want to shoot down any and all good ideas is preparation. Try to anticipate what people will ask or object about your idea. Prepare a short description of your idea ahead of time. Keep it simple and don’t bog it down with specifics or try to justify it.
Remember that naysayers come in many different types. It’s not always your arch nemesis at work. Most often they are our close friends, spouses and family members that shoot down our dreams and ideas. Do not allow this to happen! Their speeches are born from inexperience and fear. Have confidence in your ideas and abilities and you too can win the acclaim of others as you introduce yourself as a successful businessman/woman.
It’s worth the effort. Trust me.
Ethan Warrick
