I like lunch dates. It’s a reason for me to get out of the house and come back energized for the afternoon session of work.
Last week I had lunch with a former co-worker from my days at a “9-5” corporate job. Eva and I had worked together for a few years before she left to start a family.
We had a nice lunch catching up and talking about current projects. She now is a full time mom with two kids. She mentioned she was looking for a way to supplement her family’s income but still wanted to be a full time mommy. She figures starting a home based business will allow her to make money and still spend time with her kids.
I couldn’t have agreed more and I asked her what her business idea was all about. She smiled sheepishly, averted her eyes and said she didn’t have an idea yet. She had one but her husband and close family members had shot down the idea.
I see this sort of thing all the time. I even do it myself.
Many of our best ideas never go anywhere. They get shot down by haters, people who don’t understand the concept, and those who don’t believe in our abilities.
A lot of times naysayers don’t even realize they are shooting you down. They think they are giving you points to think about or are asking for clarification. If you let naysayer’s comments and critiques get to you, enthusiasm for your great ideas will quickly fade.
That’s why it’s important to be prepared and know how to defend your ideas against these inevitable attacks.
Naysayers often disguise themselves as pessimists. People who believe the glass is half empty. These people do not believe in you or your ideas! They will come up with a hundred negative comments and try to reason with you to not try. Often they will say things like
* “What do you know about running a business?”
* “You can’t start a new career at your age!”
* “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Don’t believe these Negative Nancy’s, as I like to call them. Their pessimism is born from their own inability to do great things. Stay positive, believe in your ideas and stick with your vision.
The way to deal with pessimists is to ask for their suggestions. More often than not they will have no idea how to improve upon your ideas. Keep the conversation light after they stutter or offer no further input and move onto another topic.
Another tactic you can try is to turn anything negative they say into a positive. Someone says to you, “I’ve heard most work-from-home businesses are scams” then turn the comment around on them with something like this: “There are scams in any industry. This is a sure-fire thing.”
These naysayers probably won’t even realize you are turning each of their negative phrases into positive ones. This tactic is good for those who don’t like confrontation as it doesn’t hurt either party’s feelings.
Haters are another kind of naysayer. These folks hate any and every idea you come up with simply because they didn’t come up with it first. They might have a hidden agenda or a personal grudge against you but either way you’ll never convince them your idea is a good one.
You can try to reason with these people and overcome their negative comments but most likely you won’t succeed. The more you try the more their comments will get to you and make you angry. Use these people to motivate you. Know that the only thing that will shut these people up is success.
Sometimes naysayers won’t even attack your idea, they’ll attack you directly. They might bring up past mistakes you’ve made or question your qualifications. This usually happens to people who bring up ideas in office settings. Someone using this tactic might say to you, “Why should we change the way we do things. You’ve only been with the company a few months you don’t know how we do things around here yet.”
When someone personally attacks you, your natural reaction will be anger. Take a deep breath and remain calm. If you launch a counter attack, even one based on facts and a convincing argument, it might backfire on you. Those people you are trying to convince might end up sympathizing with your attacker.
Instead align yourself with other respected members of your audience. Before you present your idea in the next office meeting or neighborhood homeowners association gathering, discuss it with two or three others who will be in the audience during your presentation. If someone does attack your qualifications or knowledge you can overcome it by citing those people who are above reproach. This lends credibility to your idea and makes people believe there is already support for your idea.
I’ve also seen people’s ideas get tossed aside because of technical questions and confusion. A person presents their idea to the group and is immediately assailed by questions. The hater in this instance will be someone with specialized education, such as someone in IT, a lawyer, a team leader, basically anyone who can bring up a technical aspect of your idea. These haters will try to convince the group that your idea can’t be implemented because there is some issue that prevents it from being possible. Your only recourse in this situation is to assure the group you have spoken with experts in that field who believe your idea is possible. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into a conversation about specifics on the technical end because the hater is more knowledgeable than you in this instance. They would most likely be able to strike down your credibility and thus the validity of your idea. Instead assure everyone experts previously agree your idea is plausible and move on to other questions.
Your best defense from naysayers, haters and those who want to shoot down any and all good ideas is preparation. Try to anticipate what people will ask or object about your idea. Prepare a short description of your idea ahead of time. Keep it simple and don’t bog it down with specifics or try to justify it.
Next, share your idea with two or three others who you are sure will support you. Note that this may not be your husband, parents, or boss. Only share your idea with trusted friends and confidants before sharing it more broadly. Use these trusted supporters to brainstorm answers to possible attacks and objections so you will be fully prepared at the next office meeting or family gathering.
Good luck!
Ethan Warrick
Editor & CEO
